Last week I was considering the purchase of a piece of
software. I went to the vendor’s website for pricing. It wasn’t there.
Annoyed, I filled out the form so that I could be contacted by one of their sales people. The
following day I got a response:
Thanks for considering (product
name deleted). Please write back to me with your phone # or call me at the #
below — we can discuss pricing as I learn about your application and how you
plan to use (product name deleted) for development.
So I sent an email with the following response:
Hi (name deleted),
OK. Please bear with me for just a
moment while I vent.
#ifdef FRUSTRATED_RANT
First, I hate the fact that you
guys don’t put pricing on your website. I looked up the old version of your
site using archive.org, so I’ve got a ballpark idea of what the pricing was
around six months ago. Mostly I just want to know if anything has changed.
Second, it’s absurd that when a
customer asks for pricing, you won’t give it to them. Instead, you answer the
question with a question. I’m not even the slightest bit interested in telling
you about our application and how we plan to use (product name deleted) for
development. I just want to know your pricing and your license terms.
And for the hat trick, it’s
incredibly frustrating that you want to do this by phone. I hate phones with a
passion, especially when they’re completely unnecessary.
Bottom line: I’m interested in
buying your product. The only obstacle in my way is YOU. If your product
didn’t have such a great reputation, I would give up right now.
#endif
OK, sorry about that. I figured if
I get all this off my chest then I’ll have a much better chance of getting
through our phone call without saying anything rude. Please call me at
217-XXX-YYYY. I promise to be nice. 
–
Eric
Fortunately, my “vent before the call” strategy worked out
very well. The sales person called me and we had a very pleasant and cordial
conversation.
http://software.ericsink.com/entries/Sales_Guy_Tantrum.html
